| CuZ i Am DuE FoR a MiRaCLe, i'M wAiTiNg FoR a SiGn, iLL StArE StRaiGHt iNtO ThE |
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«´¨`·.¸¸.¤ SaMaNtHa ¤.¸¸.·´¨`»
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[28 Feb 2004|11:28pm] |
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hey everyone i have a new username!!!! myxapology!!! everyone add me! and ill add u back.... plus can someone show me how to make a lj friends only!?!?!? thanks
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| bout time i updated |
[25 Feb 2004|08:21pm] |
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 LOVESICK!!! |
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Madcap- Lovesick |
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OOOOOMMMMGGG!!! Does anyone know who MadCap is?!?!?! That song lovesick is soooo dame cute and sweet i love it!!!!! LoL!!!
YaY ALex came back....
I love your guitar stace.. its soo sexsay!!!!!!! I miss you heather!!!!!
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| HeY!!! |
[18 Feb 2004|12:22pm] |
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mood |
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 bLaH! |
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**Rancid** |
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Hey.. I know everyone probably hates me for what happened. Or someone is really angry with me, but i am really sorry. My doctor told me tat i probably do it because when i do, i dont even know. And the last straw for my body was that and she said the reason i went to my brother crying was because i knew that i needed help. I hope that everyone still loves me for who i am and is proud of me. My cousin made me feel like shit when she said to me what she said yesterday. I know you are all mad, and it doesnt justify what i did and make it ok, but it is my fault. But then its not. I needed help and what i did was a small cry and plea for it. I love all of you. And i remember a special someone telling me that they didnt want to be my friend the next time i did anything because they didnt want to feel like they did nothing for their friend. Make your choice. But just know my friends are all i got and my friends are what i need. Im doing ok tho... I feel like i have a big weight lifted off my shoulders............
I love everyone please dont forget... and my cousin i still love u with all my heart and that special someone friend of mine too!!!
P.S Comment if u like the new user pic!!!
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| KiNdA SaD.... |
[12 Feb 2004|06:54pm] |
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Clarity- John Mayer |
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Only my friends would understand what this means.... the time i got in a fight with ben and he cried... look at this song........ juss parts of it tho....
When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears
I held your hand through all of these years
But you still have
All of me
I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone
But though you're still with me
I've been alone all along
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| OoOoOoH So sad! |
[08 Feb 2004|05:05pm] |
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mood |
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a lil ok... |
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music |
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The Get Up Kids- Long Goodnight |
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HEY...... Tomorrow is going to be a fucked day. My Uncle Wrays birthday and Ben's been dead a week. I cant believe it. I cant believe it. I cry more because its starting to kick in now. Omg.. I cant believe hes gone. My love..... My life ..........
"Long Goodnight"
every attempt to... is filled with holes it reads like a polygraph i'm told. i'm not bitter anyway. let it go. i never sleep still lest i forget
tied down by handicaps instead. i'm not bitter anyway, but i didn't want it to turn out this way. sing a long goodnight, forfit any fight. refuse to rest assured. it comes with no reply. hold on too tight, hang on every word. if it all ended tonight, you know that i wouldn't mind. it'd be back to the good old times before it won
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| Another Depressing Entry.... |
[07 Feb 2004|08:41am] |
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crushed |
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Thrice- Stare at the sun |
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I know hes gone. And the scariest thing is that i cant change it. I usually work my way out of everything; grades, anything... Hes something that i have to cope with and i cant deal with it. If i think about it i cry. I saw a lunch ticket yesterday with the date February 2 of 2004 yesterday and i wanted to break down in tears, but i couldnt. I am tired of making my friends sad because of my problems. But he wont get out of my head. Hes stuck. I cant forget. I loved him way too much.
Thanks heather for yesterday i just needed to be in somones arms to cry and tell them how i felt. And u listened to me. I will love you forever and i will never forget how you helped me. That will go on with me forever...
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| I will go down.. as your lover.. your friend |
[04 Feb 2004|07:09pm] |
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crushed |
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Blink 182- im lost without you |
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hey everyone. i am getting a little better. i am better than i was before, but i still cry myself to sleep. i love all of my friends so much if they werent here i dont know what i would do.. thanks to all.. i love you with all my heart. at least im telling u guys in time thati love u ........
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| so lonely and sad |
[03 Feb 2004|05:34pm] |
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depressed |
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thrice- stare at the sun |
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'cause i am due for a miracle
i'm waiting for a sign
i'll stare straight into the sun
and i won't close my eyes
'til i understand or go blind
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| I cant believe this happened! |
[02 Feb 2004|10:41pm] |
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I have only a voice of a dead man |
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I am never going to speak or love again. The one person i loved is now gone and i will never see them again. I dont htin k i hav eever been this suicidal. But to all of my friends if im not there i will always love you.. Forever and always...
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| Ok! |
[01 Feb 2004|11:43pm] |
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lonely |
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Blink 182- Im lost without you |
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Have you ever felt liek you knew who was your next love? Like what you think is something that you want to have happen? I feel like that right now. AI feel like i cant tell the person who i know will listen to me how i feel. I wanna tell *** so bad but i just dont think that ** will understand.... I want *** to know that i care for *** without making things weird.. If you liked some person what would you do to tell them?
OoOoOoOoOoO... And also, i am going to city walk tomorrow or i am doing something else. I was supposed to go to the snow and like yeah. We arent going to get to go.. AaAaAaww! BuMMer! O well i still get to hang out with my friends! I love em. They are so pimp! Well uh lets see nothign else in my boring life except the fact that my ex is kind of bugging me. No not jason but my ex ex ben. How can you say that you would do anything to be with a person but when that person agrees with ou all of a sudden change your mind? I told ben if he still loved me that i would go out with him again.. Well w/e i am destined to be alone. OoOoOo well im used to being hurt or lonely! Its my fault anyway... right?
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| PrOuD!!! |
[29 Jan 2004|10:14pm] |
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pleased |
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Cadillac- Mest |
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Like hae you ever been in a situation where you like someone so much. And you cant tell them? I feel like that kinda... Stacy, i love you so much. I love ya like a fat kid love cake! AnyWayZ!! LoL! Uh i told jason off!! Stacy you know! And josh too! And kelly! U saw the convo!!!..."fuck you and have a nice day..." I am so proud of myself! I hate him.. Ok cuz can u say faggot! Ugh Anyways well comment away people id love ot know what you think!
LOL!!! LoVe Y'aLL
LoVe ♥,
SaMmY
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| ToDaY!!! |
[23 Jan 2004|11:44pm] |
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Nothin.. I juss have Too Far gone by aar stuck in my head!!! |
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Omg today was the best and the worst day ever!!! Ok like my friends called me when i was at school and shit and they asked me if i wanted to ditch juss for 1st peiod and like go to jack in the box and then come back to school for 2nd period so we wouldnt get the call home... Well, it was me, mayra m, mayra p, amanda, linda, and rosie in the one car i drove in. Well anyways we went to linda's boyfriends house and like we chilled for a while. And then like we all got money together an dlike we went to go and find a mc. donalds. Well, we never found one and like we kept driving around and shit and like lindas boyfriend was following us and like we juss had so much fun until we got lost and she wanted him to leave. And so in order to ditch him we made a left hand turn and since there was too much traffic on our side, linda drove on the wrong side of the street!!! And then all of a sudden all of these cars came and she swerved into traffic and we almost got into an accident. Well it was cool and everything we ended up finding a del taco and like we got food and went back to that guys house. Well we ate and then we were all like lets go back to school and then no one wanted to go back so we stayed there and waited for this guys uncle to come back and he went and bought some coronas and some el presidente and stuff!!! Omg. and then since we were all juss chilling out i called my bf and i asked him if he wanted to come and shi so like we went and got him and before me and rosie and her bf left to go and get him i had a corona... and then like after, when we picked him up we went back to his house and me and jason juss talked and stuff. But like when i got there i had one more whole beer and then mayras beer she didnt finish and then the other beer from the other mayra and like then the rest of this gurl lindas b cuz the first five minutes that the beers were there, she drank 3 of em!!!! Omfg! LoL!! Well anyway back to my story, like i got drunk so fucking bad and like jason took me outside and shit and like i made out with him on the side of the house until this guy came through the fence and like he was all looking at us funny so we like walked into the house and like we sat down and shit and linda was still so drunk.. And then, omfg this guys dad came home!!! He like told us to leave but in a nice way and on the way out i fell on the front lawn and like jason walked passed me and like mayra told him to help me up and stuff and like he juss walked past me and said o well they told me to go help linda so i was like w/e and like i made myself get up off of the floor and shit. And then like i was so mad so like i sat on the curb and like he was more worried about her than he was of me.... so i got all mad and i wouldnt talk to him.. it sucked b cuz i like him and everything... Well lemme finish...... So we went to the park and like i was chilled out like i wasnt as bad and like he didnt even like talk to me at all. And then mayra told me he told her.. whats wrong with samantha? shes dumb how can u get drunk off of two beers??? And like mayra came and told me and like i got soo fucking mad b cuz what is he doing telling my friends that?? Even my best friends!!! Omg hes stupid.. well anyways. After we went to the park we went to willies house(rosies bf) and like we got linda to take a shower and stuff and like jason didnt even talk to me... He was being so stupid! So like we had to leave willies house and like willie comes up to tell me, "well he wants to go kick it with his friends and smoke weed, so imma take him home".. I was sooo pissed off, i couldnt believe him. He didnt even tell me he didntsay bye to me or anything. So, we left willies house and we went to chatsworth park and stayed there for a lil bit and like i was talking with john (lindas bf.. the guy whose house we were at in the morning). and he goes ur bf is fucked up.. and i was like why and he goes he told me some fucked up shit. i was like what tell me cuz imma break up with him anyway.. He tells me "jason said that u werent his g/f and u paid him to be here" or some shit like that.. And i was all WHAT!?!?!?! So i texted him and told him i needed help and to call me. So he called and i was like" what the fuck is ur problem!!! Why the fuck are you going to talk to my friends and tell them the shit you are telling them... Juss watch stay the fuck away from em or ill fucking kick the shit out of you jason" and i clicked..... I feel so crappy now...... Well anyway hes gay and its over..... By the way.. when school ended we went back and then me and alex walked home!!! We had the best fucking time ever!!!!!
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[21 Jan 2004|04:44pm] |
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pissed off |
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TBS- Great romances of the 20th century!!! |
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ALEX!!!! Omfg i am going to kick his fucking ass so bad!! I fucking hate him so much! I wanna kill his stupid ass. I told my dad if i get suspended tomorrow u cant like be all mad at me and shit.... He said he wont. And im sorry i dont hate all mexicans.. juss him.. BUT WHAT THE FUCK DOES THAT BEANOR THINK HE IS DOING!!!!! I WANNA KILL HIS STUPID GAY ASS! Omg alex im so mad!!!!! I could kill someone.. Poor chandler had to get my wrath!! I strangeled my poor lil fishy !!! LoL!!!!! (Hes only a stufffed fishy animal thingy!!!) But damn!!! I hate his stupid ass. and i could say it a million more times!
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| Yo Yo U yO!!! |
[20 Jan 2004|10:14pm] |
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The Used- On my own.... |
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Hey EvERYonE!!
Well today was cool. I mean it was ok! I hate that stupid fucking faggot alex. He talks so much shit. Its ok, even if i had a dick i wouldnt let her give me head.. Sorry i aint got shit agaisnt tammy but ugh!!!! Well anyway i was juss talking to josh and he said.... "Rap (retarded african poetry)".. HOLY FRICKEN SHITE I WAS LAUGHING SOFA KING HAAAARD!!!! LOL!!! Well besides that my gramma left to go back home to vegas today.... :-(......... Well anyways.. I have nothing else to say..... Love y'all.... BuH ByEzZ!!!
<3
Sammy
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| BeSt WeEkEnD!! |
[19 Jan 2004|11:37pm] |
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mood |
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bouncy |
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The All American Rejects- Too Far Gone |
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Omg i had the best weekend in the whole entire world. I didnt do much of anything on sat but on sunday and monday... WOOOOHAH DID I HAVE FUN!!! I went to my uncle scotts house with my bestest cousin heather and saw how sad she was ski left her... I LOVE U HEATHER.... NO GUY IS WORTH UR TEARS...(well maybe not). but anyway! We had the bestest time. We took a shit load of pictures which ill put on my journal tomorrow once she sends me all of my pics.. AnyWhoo i am soo serious that we just like had the best time in the whole world! We were wiggers is what we were. Like i mean i think it shouldve been illegal to have as much fun as we did!!! LoL!!! Well like one of our pics is my new lj user pic! Well i know its juss of me but yeah!! Lol well anyways later that night we watched finding nemo ( ooo look at me imm gonna go touch the butt!!!)<----- MY FAV PART!!! lol... but like i only watched 15 minutes of it then i fell asleep! OMFG!! Lol anyway the next day was cool. We watched the end of the ring, almost all of Two Weeks Notcie and i think one other movie but i cant remember. Then wensday sprained her ankle and when they had to go and do laundry i like had to carry her on my back... HOLY SHIT!!!!!!!! She is soo heavy. Well anywayz... I love y'all! BuH ByEzZ!!!
<3
SammY
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| VERY PERSONAL JOURNAL |
[18 Jan 2004|03:24pm] |
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Blink 182- always |
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ALWAYS
I've been here before a few times
And I'm quite aware we're dying
And your hands they shake with goodbyes
And I'll take you back if you'd have me
So here I am I'm trying
So here I am are you ready
Come on let me hold you touch you feel you
Always
Kiss you taste you all night
Always
And I'll miss your laugh your smile
I'll admit I'm wrong if you'd tell me
I'm so sick of fights I hate them
Lets start this again for real
So here I am I'm trying
So here I am are you ready
So here I am I'm trying
So here I am are you ready
Come on let me hold you touch you feel you
Always
Kiss you taste you all night
Always
Touch you feel you
Always
Kiss you taste you all night
Always
I've been here before a few times
And I'm quite aware we're dying
Come on let me hold you touch you feel you
Always
Kiss you taste you all night
Always
Touch you feel you
Always
Kiss you taste you all night
Always
I wish that people didnt die. Like you think when people tell you to appreciate what you have cuz someone could die, like u dont think about it happening to you. I have a hard time coping with reality and like when someone dies in my family i cant stop thinking about it! My uncle died as everyone knows, and its like i still cant believe it. Like why cant he just get back in that body and just be normal again! Why couldnt we have just been born without hearts? I hate feeling. I feel love rarely. Bu so much depression and hatred all of the time! Why cant i stop feeling? Why do i have to be like everyone else. People strive everyday to be someone else and its like in the end im just like everyone else! I can feel and i can hear. I hurt b cuz there is no other way to feel... Is there even a such thing aas happiness?????
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| YAY TODAY!!! |
[18 Jan 2004|12:05am] |
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 ditzy |
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taking back sunday! |
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Hey well today was awesome. Well i didnt like do much of anything. I just chilled put all day with my family and like i watched a movie called swat and like it was so0o0o good and like i just had the best time! Well like this guy Jason wanted to come over today and i was juss like no but guess what!! Travis and Andy came over with Neenee and like me and travis had like so much fun and like it was juss so awesome! we went to Carl's Jr. and like travis crashed into the door and it was so0o0 fun b cuz like this lady who works there was like what the fuck!! I was laughing so hard and then like he poured like root beer all over the back of his pants!! FUNNY AS FUCK!!! I couldnt believe he did that to himself! Well also andy dyed his hair black! Travis is cool!! HEY WHATS THE CAPITOL OF THAILAND??? BANGKOK!!!!! yayayayayay
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[17 Jan 2004|07:43am] |
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YAY!!! My dad got home today well actually just like right now. And now we are going to dennys and like i am soo excited b cuz he brought all of this cool stuff back. He knows i love turtles so like he bought me this like pooka shell necklace with a big turtle on it!! We are about to go to dennys but i am soo excited and like i cant wait till my uncle sprig gets home!!!! I miss him too.. ByE everyone!!!
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